Make up totti

Opera totti
"With his acting and shouting skills, I'm sure Totti would have made it in the opera," says Christian Stampfer of his delightful Valkyrie.

Totti ballerina
'I always remember Ron Atkinson calling Totti 'precious',' says Satyen Ram of the lovely, be-tutued prima donna. 'He looks quite elegant'.

Peter Andre
'Tonight Matthew, I will be Peter Andre', imagines Mysterious, er, Girl, Dan Hunt.

Phil Totti
Phil Collins - bald-headed, yelping drummer. Francesco Totti - long-haired football player, not especially well known for yelping, or drumming. On paper, this shouldn't work. And yet... Well done to Katrin Geilhausen.


Simple pleasures
'Simple things please simple minds,' says Mike Sanders, pleasing us immensely.
Totti's grandad
'Here's Totti's grandad,' says Brendan Bird. In the absence of any rationale we can only appreciate the photoshopping and wonder at the state of Brendan's mind.


God
'Jupiter was king of the gods,' begins James Elliott, harmlessly enough. 'Now we worship another god,' he froths. 'A greater god!' he warbles. 'Francesco Totti,' he climaxes, not entirely unexpectedly. 'I've met him, you know...'
Francesco Tattie
Bernard Thompson calls his Totti/Tottie/Tattie double-punning effort 'exceptionally clever'. In - and only in - the context of the gallery, he might have a point.
Ice, Ice Totti
'Yo homey!' shouts Brett Turner, with all the street cred of Will Young in a pair of wellies. 'It's 80s rap sensation Vanilla Ice.' Ah, so it is. And still we ask: Why, god, why?
Head and shoulders
Finally a bust not involving a lame totty pun. Thank you, Jeremy Gardner, for dragging the tone back out of the gutter.

...and more Hot Totti
'I'd like to think of this as a sophisticated, post-ironic Benny Hill kind of joke, rather than a facile sexist pun, okay?' says Misterchild, convincing no-one.
An intimate moment
Is that another Totti giving himself a big rugged slap on the posterior? We think so, although it's hard to be sure. Brought to you by the mind of Chris Mitchell.